1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,440
♪ Terrible Tudors
Gorgeous Georgians

2
00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,880
♪ Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians
Woeful wars, ferocious fights

3
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,320
♪ Dingy castles, daring knights

4
00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:09,960
♪ Horrors that defy description
Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians

5
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,360
♪ Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes
Punishment from ancient times

6
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,440
♪ Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless
Cavemen, savage, fearsome, toothless

7
00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:18,080
♪ Groovy Greeks, brainy sages
Mean and measly Middle Ages

8
00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:20,640
♪ Gory stories, we do that

9
00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,360
♪ And your host, a talking rat

10
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,240
♪ The past is no longer a mystery

11
00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:31,960
♪ Welcome to... Horrible Histories! ♪

12
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:34,080
Horrible Histories presents...

13
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:37,840
Our Precious Planet.

14
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,200
How do the sideburns look?
Bushy enough?

15
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,320
Oh, you bet they are!

16
00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:46,560
Right. I'm Charles Darwin.

17
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:49,280
Scientist,
Victorian national treasure,

18
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:53,360
and 1852 Facial Hair Of The Year.

19
00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,080
Third place.

20
00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:58,760
And this... is Planet Earth.

21
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:03,720
Our home, and home
to countless species of animals,

22
00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:07,600
plants, birds, fish and insects.

23
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:10,280
And perhaps
the most fascinating of all these

24
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:13,680
is this amazing creature.

25
00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,360
The humble earthworm!

26
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:23,040
Cut! Sorry, Charles, if we could
just leave the worms out of it

27
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:26,480
and concentrate on the big stuff.
No problem. Cut the worms.

28
00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,480
Yeah. Got it. Take two!

29
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:35,120
The Planet Earth,
this miracle, floating in space.

30
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:39,680
And you know what else is a miracle?
It's these little fellows...

31
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,800
Cut! Cut! Hello!

32
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,720
Oh, for goodness' sake. You've
slipped into worms again, Charles.

33
00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:47,600
Did I? Yes. I don't think I did.

34
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,240
You like worms. Love 'em.
Wrote a book about them.

35
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:54,560
The Formation Of Vegetable Mould
Through The Action Of Worms.

36
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Sounds like a right page-turner.

37
00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:00,560
It's just this programme's not about
worms. It's not? No. Right.

38
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Take three!

39
00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,000
Third time lucky.

40
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:09,120
The Planet Earth.
It's inspired us to invent art,

41
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technology and... music!

42
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:15,440
I've asked my son
to entertain the worms!

43
00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:17,480
Right, cut! What?!

44
00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:20,360
I want to see if they react
to music. Charles! Hit it!

45
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,400
♪ Worms

46
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,800
♪ How I love them, how I love them

47
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,720
♪ They're so firm and wriggly

48
00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:31,320
♪ Worms
How I love them, how I love them

49
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:34,240
♪ They make me shy and giggly... ♪
Cut!

50
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,440
Everybody!

51
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,760
Talk about an earworm.

52
00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:42,400
As well as worms, our planet has
many other riches

53
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:46,200
buried underground,
like oil, coal and gold,

54
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which ideally should all be left
exactly where they are,

55
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but enormous amounts of the gold
got dug up

56
00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:58,200
during the Gold Rush
in 19th-century America.

57
00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:02,440
Good job the oil and coal
are still there,

58
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What? We're taking all of them too?

59
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Unbelievable!

60
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:11,400
Hello, stranger!

61
00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:14,400
Good afternoon, ma'am.

62
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,920
I will take a shovel, please.

63
00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:19,800
Sure thing, friend.

64
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,800
That'll be 40 bucks. 40 bucks?!

65
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:26,680
Come on now. Back home,
I can get a shovel for 20 cents.

66
00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:30,640
That's, um... 200 times
the regular back home price, yes.

67
00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:33,640
Exactly! No-one's going to pay that.

68
00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:35,680
Howdy, stranger.

69
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,640
Shovel! 40 bucks.

70
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You got it.

71
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,360
Hoo-hoo-hoo!

72
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,360
Gold, here I come!

73
00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,400
I's a-gonna be rich!

74
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,840
Fine. I'll take a shovel.
That'll be 50 bucks.

75
00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:53,240
50 bucks?! You said it was 40.
Well, now I only got two left.

76
00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:56,840
You could always wait until
I've got one left. That'll be 60.

77
00:03:56,840 --> 00:04:00,520
And that's with a discount
on account of I like your smile.

78
00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:03,320
Well, I don't like yours. Fine.

79
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:07,160
I'll take the $50 one. Second-best
investment you ever made.

80
00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:11,240
Here. Second-best?
My last jar of Gold Grease.

81
00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:14,400
Ten bucks. Gold Grease?

82
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:17,200
Strip naked, coat yourself in it,
roll down a hill,

83
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,880
picking up gold as you go.

84
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:23,280
You must think I'm an idiot!
Have you got any Gold Grease?

85
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:26,240
I'll take it! Last ten bucks!

86
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:30,760
But I don't have a care in the world
on account of I'm going to strike...

87
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:35,320
♪ Gold! Gold!
Always believed I'd strike gold

88
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:38,560
♪ I may be clean out of dough

89
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:40,960
♪ But I'm here to have a go

90
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:44,360
♪ Always believed, yeah,
he'll strike...

91
00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:46,240
♪ Gold!
Gold!

92
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,880
♪ Thousands of dollars I'll earn

93
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:52,120
♪ I can't afford to return

94
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,400
♪ So there's no going home

95
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,080
♪ Always believed, yeah

96
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,280
♪ Once they discovered gold

97
00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:07,760
♪ Thousands came here
to mine the land

98
00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:11,240
♪ It has gotten quite out of hand

99
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,640
♪ The trees and the cows have gone

100
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:17,560
♪ Crime is on the rise every day

101
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,280
♪ You might find some gold though
Hooray!

102
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:24,560
♪ Going to be rich anyway
The amount they pay

103
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:27,600
♪ Why did I ever make this call?

104
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:31,600
♪ Cos with a little luck
I could have it all

105
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:33,720
♪ Gold!
Gold!

106
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,200
♪ Let's go and look for some gold

107
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,960
♪ Hundreds of spades I have sold

108
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,560
♪ I'm on a massive roll

109
00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:44,080
♪ Always believe, yeah

110
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,400
♪ You'll strike gold! ♪

111
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:49,480
Pack it up, boys.
We done run out of gold!

112
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:54,360
We've dug it all up. Excuse me?
You heard, boy.

113
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:56,680
Dangnabbit! That can't be true!

114
00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,680
Can I get a refund on these, please?
It's against policy.

115
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:03,320
This is the worst day of my life.

116
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,920
Hi, there.
I'm the Mayor of this here town.

117
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,880
Pithole.
You know, just three years ago,

118
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,960
there was nothing here.
No town, no people.

119
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:19,360
Now we've got 20,000 people,
54 hotels, a post office

120
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:24,000
and a theatre! And I can tell you
how it happened in one word.

121
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:26,640
Oil!

122
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:29,280
We're getting the oil
out of the ground here

123
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:32,240
faster than you could say
potential ecological disaster!

124
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:36,600
And the good news is that oil brings
jobs, money, civilisation

125
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:41,160
and the American Dream.
It's the perfect town.

126
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,920
If you don't mind
the permanent smell of poo.

127
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,760
We're still working on the plumbing.
Ooh!

128
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:49,400
But, hey, we're a young town

129
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:52,760
and we've got all the time in
the world to figure that stuff out.

130
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,760
After all, we've got so much oil

131
00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:58,640
that this town's going to be here
forever!

132
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:02,920
Hey, everyone! The price of oil just
dropped cos there's so much of it!

133
00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:06,040
We're all out of business!
Let's get out of here!

134
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:07,640
Oh, no.

135
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:16,440
Hi, I'm the Mayor and I guess...

136
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:21,040
...the only resident of Pithole. No!

137
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:24,120
I'm still here. Oh, boy.
BREAKS WIND

138
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,000
So...

139
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,320
If you like derelict ghost towns,

140
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:30,320
why not pay us a visit?

141
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:34,160
You may want to give it ten minutes.
BREAKS WIND

142
00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:39,360
Yes, it's me, Henry VIII!
And you're right to be excited.

143
00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,960
It wasn't just the Americans
that were gobbling up

144
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:45,840
the planet's precious resources.
We English were doing it too.

145
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:49,360
And when I say "we",
I actually mean me.

146
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,080
Timber!

147
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:52,960
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

148
00:07:55,360 --> 00:08:00,120
Ah, the forests of England.
One of our greatest resources.

149
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:04,200
Vast swathes of wooded land
teeming with animal life.

150
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:07,720
Beautiful birds. Nice tune, dude.

151
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,640
Hello there, little fellow.

152
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,920
You know, it's these vast forests
and woodlands

153
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:15,600
that make England what it is today.

154
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,680
Because we can chop them all down
and make warships.

155
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,520
2,000 oak trees per boat.

156
00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:24,240
And we can use the rest
for charcoal for the ironworks.

157
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:27,560
Oh, this is such a nice...
Um, Your Majesty?

158
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:31,360
There may be consequences
to stripping England's woodlands.

159
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:33,240
For a start,
it wouldn't be sustainable.

160
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:37,440
What do we do the next time? Nick
all the land off the monasteries!

161
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:41,320
We've already done that.
Well, we can use the warships,

162
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:44,760
made from these noble plants,

163
00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:47,920
to conquer other countries and chop
all their trees down. Good times!

164
00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,920
Yes, but what happens when
their trees run out? I don't know!

165
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,560
Pass a law to plant some more
or something.

166
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,920
You're the adviser. Boring me now.

167
00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:57,600
Oh!

168
00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:01,000
If you want to make yourself useful,
go fetch that squirrel. Cook it.

169
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,840
I'm hungry.

170
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,880
SINGS TO HIMSELF

171
00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:10,120
So we either dug up or chopped down
a lot of our planet's resources,

172
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:14,600
but at least we didn't wipe out
a load of the animal species too.

173
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,600
What? The animals too?!

174
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:21,400
Oh, come on! My book shouldn't have
been called The Origin Of Species,

175
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:24,520
it should have been called
the end of them! Wait...

176
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:27,280
Please tell me
there are still some worms left.

177
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:35,280
Time now to meet some new
fluffy and feathered friends.

178
00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:38,080
With more and more of the world's
species endangered,

179
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,840
we asked some people from history
to come on the show

180
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,360
with some of the very last
living examples

181
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,520
of some wonderful animals.
I can't wait to meet them.

182
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:50,520
This is the last of the dodos
from the late 17th century.

183
00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:55,400
A large, flightless bird living
on the island of Mauritius.

184
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:59,960
Sorry. I was under the impression
that this was a cookery show.

185
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:04,000
You... cooked the last dodo?
It's not my fault!

186
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:07,720
The dodo has... had...
the very unfortunate combination

187
00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:10,920
of being both very tasty
and very trusting.

188
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:14,840
And very not good at flying away
from people that want to eat it.

189
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:17,360
This is delicious!

190
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:20,520
And an absolute disgrace!

191
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,120
You can sit there and
think about what you've done

192
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:25,160
while we meet our next guest.

193
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,480
Richard is a sailor
from the 18th century

194
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:32,280
and he is bringing with him
the last ever Steller's sea cow.

195
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,760
Oh. It was not made clear
that you wanted it alive.

196
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:39,120
That's totally what happened to me.
This is...

197
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:43,600
...was... a tasty
and trusting sea creature.

198
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:47,280
Tasty and trusting. Tasty and
trusting. Tasty and trusting.

199
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:50,600
To be fair, it was floating
on the surface, almost waiting.

200
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,880
You know? After humans discovered
Steller's sea cows,

201
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,880
{\an8}it was 27 years before we'd
eaten them all. I'm not surprised!

202
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,120
It's delicious!
Try the blubber. It's nice.

203
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:03,200
Right, let's move on.
A live report now from 1918

204
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,280
and Cincinnati, where we will meet

205
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:09,080
the last-ever living
Carolina parakeet.

206
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:12,560
{\an8}Oh, I'm so sorry.
Is this not a fashion show?

207
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:14,880
{\an8}Now that is a lovely hat.

208
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:18,520
Are they hard to get?
Um... they are now.

209
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,280
Harold? This is a STEM jobs fair.

210
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,200
I work in science.

211
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,440
You sell cakes at the Science
Museum. It's not the same thing.

212
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,840
Interested in seeing the world?

213
00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:37,080
Getting your hands dirty, exploiting
our natural resources?

214
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,800
Join my whaling expedition
and I'll make you rich!

215
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:44,560
We can kill over 100 whales
in a single voyage.

216
00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:46,600
That's awful!
The cruelty's bad enough,

217
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,640
but if you keep hunting them
like that, we'll have none left.

218
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,560
Yeah, that'll be a shame,
given how useful they are.

219
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:55,040
Every part of the whale makes money,
you see.

220
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:58,920
The bones are used in clothing,
the oil's used in lamps.

221
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:03,480
Ahh! And we eat their vomit.

222
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:07,080
Well, I think it's disgusting,
particularly the vomit thing.

223
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:10,800
Then I better not tell you about
using their poo to dye clothes.

224
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,480
Can I ask how you lost your...?

225
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:16,120
And your...? Minor work injuries!

226
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,360
Yeah, can take hours to kill a whale

227
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:22,720
and by then they've smashed the boat
and most of your limbs to pieces.

228
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,800
Harold, shall we?

229
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,920
Oh, not again!

230
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,880
Is that my other leg?

231
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:34,680
Interested in oil prospecting?

232
00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:37,240
Oh! Gosh! There's another one.

233
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,520
You could explore
our beautiful planet

234
00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:43,120
and get rich in an instant!
Ohhh! That's interesting.

235
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:46,800
Hang on. Are you what happens
to oil prospectors?

236
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,520
Well, I grant you
there's poor sanitation

237
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,880
and fires are common, but I was
fur trapping when I got attacked

238
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,640
by the bear, so that doesn't count.
Fur trapping?

239
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:59,040
Yep. If you're interested in fur
trapping, they've got a stall there

240
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,160
and an actual bear
you can play with.

241
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,640
That sounds very dangerous.
Yeah, it is.

242
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,840
GROWLING
Oh, look. The bear escaped.

243
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:08,640
The bear escaped! Aargh!

244
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:13,000
Can we go home now? Want a job
building the American railroads?

245
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,840
Oh, railroads!

246
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:18,720
You don't need qualifications.
Just a steady hand.

247
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:22,080
Perfect. Great. We're giving people
a try-out right now.

248
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:25,920
All you have to do is carry a box
of nitro-glycerine

249
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:27,920
from one table to another.

250
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:30,440
Isn't nitro-glycerine
incredibly explosive?

251
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,960
Yes, it is. That's why we use it
to blast holes in the mountains

252
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,280
for the train tunnels. Right,

253
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:39,920
you just have to be
really, really care...

254
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,680
...care... Oh...

255
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:44,480
Achoo!

256
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:46,800
Oh!

257
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:52,640
You know what? I might go back
to selling cakes at the museum.

258
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,120
SHE SIGHS

259
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:58,320
We've been trying to tame the planet
for hundreds of years

260
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,880
by creating beautiful gardens
or farming the land.

261
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:04,560
And one of the first people
to write a guide book

262
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:08,120
on how to farm the land
was Thomas Tusser.

263
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,440
Bit of an odd fish, this one.

264
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:18,360
Hello. Are you Thomas Tusser?

265
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:22,440
Why, yes, that is me.
How can I help, agriculturally?

266
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:25,440
I'm looking for some advice
on farming and my mate, Steve,

267
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,320
thinks you might be able to help.
Ah!

268
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,880
A cow, good of milk, big of bulk,

269
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:34,440
hale and sound, is yearly,
for profit, as good as a pound.

270
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,240
MOOING
OK.

271
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,800
Get a cow then.
Nice little money-spinner, is it?

272
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,920
Yet every year
have I proved before now

273
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:44,320
as good for the purse
is a sow as a cow.

274
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,560
Right. So a pig, then?

275
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:49,960
Keep one or keep both,
do as thou will,

276
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,840
then all will be saved
and nothing be spilled.

277
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:56,280
Why are you talking like that?
It's all from a book written by me

278
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,600
called 500 Points Of Good Husbandry.

279
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:03,000
Should probably just call it
farming, like everyone else does.

280
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:06,280
Hang on. There are 500 of these?

281
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,400
I gives all my knowledge
quite strictly in rhyme.

282
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:12,520
That way you remember it every time.

283
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,760
Just starting to get
a little bit annoying.

284
00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:17,720
You could buy my book,
the advice is all sound,

285
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:20,160
and that way you'll skip
all my prancing around.

286
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:23,520
Stop that now. Yes, my wisdom
I usually serve up in writing.

287
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:27,680
Turn up in person, there's usually
fighting. Please stop rhyming!

288
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,680
With your permission,
I'll now take my leave.

289
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:34,200
And give me regards to our mutual
friend Steve! Right, that's it!

290
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,240
Sorry! Come back here!

291
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:39,480
In France,
if we weren't farming ze land,

292
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,840
we were turning it
into huge fancy gardens.

293
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,840
Ze fanciest of zem all
were those at Versailles,

294
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:50,240
filled with stunning flowers
and trees, fountains, lakes

295
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,560
and exotic animals, zey were truly
a marvel for the eye,

296
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:56,520
if not always for the nose.

297
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,680
OK, OK, turn.

298
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:05,280
Voila! Ze gardens of Louis XIV's
palace of Versailles.

299
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,640
We're not allowed here! No, it's OK.

300
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:11,040
Anyone can come in,
as long as they don't have smallpox.

301
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:12,520
Oh!

302
00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:16,080
That's actually pretty strict.
There's a lot of smallpox about.

303
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,840
Open your heart and listen to...

304
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,440
FART
Oh, sacre bleu!

305
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:26,760
Pardonnez-moi.
I didn't mean to ruin ze moment.

306
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:30,240
What are you doing behind zere?
There are no toilets at the palace

307
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,200
{\an8}so some of us use the garden. Bof.

308
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:38,120
Open your heart and listen...
Madame and monsieur,

309
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,720
King Louis XIV approaches!

310
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,960
Morning, Dennis.

311
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,920
Just looking for a vacant bush
with some double-ply leaves.

312
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,520
The bees,
they are covered in poo poo!

313
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,960
Come away, Marie! Come away!
Come away! Come!

314
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:55,520
Come.

315
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,360
Morning!

316
00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,640
Pardon my pantalon cough.
FART

317
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:03,600
You need a hat and a sword
to walk through these gardens,

318
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:09,760
but it's OK. You can... hire them...
from the concierge. Ah!

319
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:13,040
This way, Marie!
It's quieter down here.

320
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,920
SQUELCH
Oh! Oh, no!

321
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,680
Oh, no, no, no. It's OK, Marie.

322
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,880
It's just elephant poo.

323
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:24,600
The King keeps exotic animals,
so it's fine.

324
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,680
Come. Ooh!

325
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:29,240
Ahh... That one is human.

326
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:32,640
Aaah! My darling, nothing is going
as I had planned it,

327
00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,600
but listen...

328
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,560
I brought you here
to ask you to make me

329
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:39,440
ze happiest man...
FART

330
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:41,560
Oh, excusez-moi.

331
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,840
Zat was me. My darling,

332
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,560
will you marry me?

333
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:50,040
Er... didn't you just drop that
in a massive poo?

334
00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:52,920
Ah, yes, but...
And you picked it up?

335
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,480
I kind of had to.
This isn't going to work.

336
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:58,840
But I love you! No... Ooh!
Can you keep it down

337
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,160
for one second? Yep.
FART

338
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,920
No, no... No!

339
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:09,040
FARTY POOING

340
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:14,400
I think I'll give that place
a swerve on my next voyage.

341
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:18,840
Yes, I love to travel
and explore this wonderful planet

342
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:20,880
in all its glory.

343
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,200
Thankfully, by my time,

344
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,240
we adventurers knew
that the world was round,

345
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,920
unlike some of my predecessors.

346
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,320
Would you look at that?

347
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,840
Marvellous!

348
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,000
Oh, dear!
SMASHES

349
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,240
I'm sure it's fine.

350
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,080
BELL RINGS

351
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,800
It's day one at Grant Academy's
Planet Week.

352
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:48,200
As Geography teacher Mr Singh got
lost on the way to school,

353
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:52,040
headteacher Mrs Thomas has
brought in a last-minute substitute.

354
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:55,760
Welcome to Historical Educating.

355
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:59,920
I'm really patting myself
on the back for this one.

356
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:03,000
Mr Democritus is a Greek traveller

357
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,640
and a mathematician
from the 5th century BC.

358
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,920
So he should know a thing or two
about the planet.

359
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:13,800
Hello, children. So let's check
if you're familiar with the basics.

360
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,920
What shape is the planet?

361
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:20,200
It's a globe, sir.
Forgive me. That's ridiculous.

362
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,760
The world really is...

363
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,360
...a flat disc.

364
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,920
Shaped like Achilles' shield,

365
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,920
but slightly tilted.

366
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,840
How come everything doesn't
just slide off?

367
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:40,000
"How come everything doesn't just
slide off?" Look, let me explain.

368
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,680
Imagine this is the Earth.

369
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:44,200
OK? And...

370
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,960
...these are people.

371
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:53,160
As you can see, when it tilts,
things do not slide off.

372
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,960
Oh, no, they do.

373
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,280
I made a terrible mistake.

374
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,000
Aaaaaah!

375
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,760
Grab a hold of something! Quick!
Before you slide off the planet,

376
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:08,360
you fools!
Mr Democritus has been called in

377
00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:11,960
to see the headteacher. I'm going
to have to ask you to leave.

378
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,640
You're fired. Yeah, fine.

379
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:18,360
You might have to wait for the Earth
to tilt towards the door there.

380
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:21,600
Luckily, Mrs Thomas has managed to
secure another replacement

381
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:24,360
Geography teacher
at even shorter notice.

382
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:27,920
Mr Snorri Sturluson was
a famous Viking chronicler.

383
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:33,400
We Vikings are excellent navigators.
We have sailed

384
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:37,720
all around the world and you can do
this because, as the sagas tell us,

385
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:42,040
the world is round, flat
and surrounded by oceans.

386
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:47,680
And the land we are standing on
is made of dead frost giant.

387
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:53,200
The god Odin killed it
and turned its skull into a sky!

388
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,920
And the skull sky is held in place
by four giant dwarves!

389
00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:00,280
And the sea is the giant's blood!

390
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,840
You might want to make notes.

391
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:08,400
He's cool. He let me hold his axe.

392
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:12,680
Mr Sturluson has also been called in
to see Mrs Thomas

393
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:16,840
for a quiet chat. The world is not
held up by four giant dwarves!

394
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:20,320
Isn't it? What happened to them?
The dwarves have been stolen!

395
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,000
Arm yourselves! To the boats!

396
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,960
And you're fired!

397
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,680
Have we tilted back yet?

398
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,880
Of course, the world is round.

399
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,200
Well, ish.

400
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,760
And if we look after it,
hopefully, it will stay that way.

401
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,000
Oh, for goodness' sake!

402
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:48,400
Of course,
trying to save the planet isn't new.

403
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:52,600
Long before there was Greta, there
were other environmental pioneers,

404
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:56,760
desperately trying to do good,
but in those early days,

405
00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:00,320
hardly anyone else thought
there was a problem.

406
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:02,640
Has anyone got any more tape?

407
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:08,320
Sorting out the beefs of the past...
I'm the law, Hannibal!

408
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:10,240
...with the justice of today.

409
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,920
You illegally parked your elephant
in the Alps!

410
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:16,080
Welcome to Time Beefs
With Judge Rinder.

411
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:21,920
Rachel Carson, marine biologist
and conservationist

412
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,880
from the 20th century, helped
kick off the environmental movement.

413
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:30,040
She wants fewer chemicals used
in farming because they kill insects

414
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,880
and damage nature.

415
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:35,440
The defendants, representatives
from the US chemical industry,

416
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,560
want her to stop being a pest.

417
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,800
Miss Carson, as I understand it,

418
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,720
in addition to being a marvellous
environmental campaigner,

419
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:47,440
you're also a very famous author.
Isn't that right? Yes, that's right.

420
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:52,280
Now I believe that farmers should
work with nature and not against it.

421
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:55,400
Chemicals and pesticides
pushed by these companies

422
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:59,600
may kill pests, but they also kill
beneficial insects.

423
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:03,760
Good riddance! Ssh! Talking!
Do carry on.

424
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:06,840
I have been the subject
of many attacks in the press.

425
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:11,360
Communist! Like that. One letter
published in the New York Times

426
00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:13,440
even said that we can manage
perfectly well

427
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,600
without animals and birds.

428
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,600
My ideas are all explained
in my best-selling book

429
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,000
Silent Spring, available now.

430
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,240
Should have stayed
a bit more silent.

431
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,680
Excuse me, this is my courtroom.
You understand chemical formulas?

432
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:28,680
Right. Well, here's one for you.

433
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:33,480
One part me talking equals
one part you shutting up.

434
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,160
Understood? Now,

435
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:38,040
I'm willing to listen
to any reasonable arguments.

436
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:42,000
Your Honour, we have written
our own version of the first chapter

437
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,480
of her book. It's called
The Desolate Year.

438
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:48,320
Imagine a world without pesticides.
You open your front door... Bugs!

439
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:50,520
You get in your car... Bugs!

440
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,640
You go for a picnic
in the countryside... Bugs!

441
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,880
There are meant to be bugs
in the countryside!

442
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:58,240
I wish they were in book shops
so they ate your book!

443
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,640
It wouldn't take them long
to eat your tiny...

444
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,960
You guys are certainly bugging me.

445
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,720
Miss Carson, I shall stop them
immediately. Thank you.

446
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,160
Well, it's a win for the bugs!

447
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,880
Bugs one, progress zero.

448
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:20,800
God dag! It's me, Swedish engineer
Sten Gustaf Thulin.

449
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:24,280
Today I wanted to talk to you
about plastics.

450
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,960
There have been many forms of
plastics since the Middle Ages

451
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:32,640
when they used to make it
out of bones or shells.

452
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:35,960
In 1907, Leo Baekeland invented

453
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:41,760
the first-ever, mass-produced,
man-made synthetic plastic.

454
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,000
And he called it Bakelite.

455
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,040
PHONE RINGS

456
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:50,280
Please don't call me
while I'm at work!

457
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:53,640
Since then, we've invented
plastic, well, everything.

458
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:02,000
The real revolution came
when I invented...

459
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,120
...the plastic bag!

460
00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:07,960
Imagine what environmental good
this plastic bag could do.

461
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:11,840
No more need to chop down trees
to make paper bags!

462
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:13,880
And this bag will last forever!

463
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:17,240
You could just use it over and over
and over again!

464
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:21,000
Hey, these plastic bags
are really popular. Told you.

465
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:24,400
Companies are buying billions of
them. And why wouldn't they?

466
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,640
Wait... Billions? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

467
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:29,120
But these degrade over centuries.

468
00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:32,080
The whole point of these is
that we re-use the same ones.

469
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:36,200
Ah, people seem to prefer throwing
them away and getting another one.

470
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,760
But I've been using this one
for ages!

471
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:42,760
But this one's filthy. Here,
have another one. I've got loads.

472
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,600
No...

473
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,480
This is not...

474
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,520
What have I done?!

475
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:50,000
This is too much!

476
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,160
Plastic bags! Can you believe it?

477
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,160
They were invented
to try and save the environment!

478
00:25:56,160 --> 00:26:01,080
I mean, the idea was good.
The end result? Less so.

479
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,280
In all honesty, I'm a bit shocked

480
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:06,840
about some of the things done to our
precious planet since I was around.

481
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:10,360
But I hear things ARE changing.

482
00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:12,840
And people are realising
we'll need to protect

483
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:16,760
this wonderful world we live in
if we want to keep it.

484
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:19,080
I know we can do it.

485
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:20,720
Together.

486
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:24,120
From now on, let's be the good guys.

487
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:36,800
♪ Our planet
We should see the signs

488
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:40,320
♪ We're damaging it over time

489
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,480
♪ History we must now rewind

490
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:47,560
♪ To undo our mistakes

491
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:50,960
♪ Romans reared lots of livestock

492
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:54,480
♪ For farming
Which released methane

493
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:58,120
♪ From farting
Plus blacksmith forgers were

494
00:26:58,120 --> 00:27:00,840
♪ Harming the atmosphere

495
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:04,360
♪ So you're a Roman
Sounds like you had no plan

496
00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:08,840
♪ Shame you didn't know, man
But you were just the first man

497
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,680
♪ That's pretty bad, guys.

498
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:13,360
♪ Huh?

499
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,320
♪ Tudors building warships

500
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,160
♪ Out of forests

501
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:27,440
♪ They stripped the land
leaving no trees

502
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:30,040
♪ Wasn't a blip because

503
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,760
♪ It is still happening

504
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:36,440
♪ So you're a Tudor
Shame you didn't think more

505
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,920
♪ Taking all that wood
for ships to go and fight wars

506
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:43,880
♪ That's pretty bad, guys

507
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:45,680
♪ Huh?

508
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,960
♪ Industrial Revolution

509
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:58,360
♪ An increase in air pollution

510
00:27:58,360 --> 00:28:02,240
♪ Machines built with no solution

511
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,640
♪ For our longevity

512
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,840
♪ Black gold, life changed forever

513
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:12,600
♪ Makes plastic
Degrades, like, never

514
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:16,120
♪ And fumes that are not so clever

515
00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:19,000
♪ So it's time to think again

516
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:22,520
♪ It's got to end now
Listen to my friend while

517
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:26,640
♪ Greta comprehends
how we can make a change now

518
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,680
♪ Be a kind guy
Cleaning up the seas guy

519
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:33,560
♪ Planting lots of trees guy
Power from the breeze guy

520
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:38,560
♪ Let's be the good guys... ♪

521
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,400
Woooo! Ooh!

522
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:53,640
♪ The past is no longer a mystery

523
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:58,760
♪ Hope you enjoyed...
Horrible Histories! ♪

524
00:28:58,810 --> 00:29:03,360
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